They may have planes, trains and automobiles all over the world, but in our little corner shipping by DHL means only one thing....Delivery Happens Late!
You see they don't consider us worthy of driving a further 20 minutes from the nearest large town, unlike UPS and FEDEX who have daily deliveries out here. So let me run you through the service 'the world's largest carrier' offers to us.
They get the package by plane into OKC, which is 3 hours drive away. If you are really lucky they might then decide to put it onto one of the occasional trucks that comes to the aforementioned town, but there's no daily service there. More often they just hand it over to the Post Office in OKC and it becomes their parcel to deliver.
Well of course they stick it to the bottom of a large pile of DHL's in their depot. Because you decided they weren't good enough to deliver when you purchased and now they don't give a damn about your parcel. After about 4 days someone notices the pile and gives the parcels a Post Office tracking # and sticks them on a low priority delivery schedule.
By this time you are wondering where your 'next business day delivery' that you paid extra for has got to, after all 5 days have passed! So you call DHL and they tell you what you can already see on their website, that it was delivered to OKC and it's no longer their responsibility. If you get really arsy with them (which I do) then they will take the time to find you a Post Office tracking #, but this won't work on the Post Office tracking site. I also always berate DHL for taking on deliveries to places they don't deliver, but as yet that's made no difference, big surprise!
So luckily because you live in a smalltown, you know the Post Mistress and can call her for help. She then makes a call with your tracking # and gets fobbed off by the OKC depot, who are too busy to give a damn. When she calls you back to tell you this, she also tells you she has to field DHL complaints every single week.
If you are really unlucky, DHL won't use the Post Office and instead deliver to some 'Mom & Pop' franchisee locally and there is no alternate tracking # at all and no way to contact them. My $900 lap-top came by this extremely secure and guaranteed timely method!
Then I usually call the company I purchased from to tell them about how DHL do not deliver in our area and here comes the upside. They start refunding shipping costs, giving compensation and very occasionally assume it's lost and refund the whole lot to you. Over the 2.5 years I have been here that has saved me approximately $350 which is nice, but it doesn't make up for the inconvenience of not getting the thing you wanted on time.
After about 10-14 business days, usually you're package will show up at the Post Office and life is all good once again. Frustratingly though some of the biggest companies insist on using DHL alone as their carrier. For instance Dell, who are the only company we buy all our PC's from after years of great products. Of course usually you need their products fast and so it's incredibly annoying knowing there's no way that's going to happen, despite having told them numerous times not to use DHL out here!
So there you go, DHL doesn't think rural Okieland exists, despite definitive proof of human life forms in this area!