A visual feast of stunning beauty!

One weekend back in the Autumn, we had fellow blogger Pam OKC and her Brit hubby to stay and we all went sightseeing to Canadian, Texas.

We walk into this smalltown museum and art gallery and were gobsmacked to be met by the sight below!

(I am about to break my own 'not too many photo's rule', but I think you'll understand)

Please 'Double Click' pictures to see more stunning detail

The art gallery of the museum had an exhibition of Linda Leyendecker Gutierrez ballgowns, which quite literally took our breath away.

Linda says she has a God-given gift for designing the elaborate hand-beaded gowns for the annual Society of Martha Washington colonial ball held in Laredo Texas, and I have to agree with her!

The beadwork detail on these amazing dresses is just staggering and unbelievably gorgeous.

Each dress weighs approximately 80lbs, the girls who get to wear them are all teenagers and are the only women with the right tiny proportions to fit into one.

In 1939, on a suggestion of the local Monsignor in Laredo, a ladies’ Society of Martha Washington came into being, and the first 13 debutantes - known as “Marthas” - were presented at the Colonial Pageant and Ball.

The Ball has happened annually ever since and every year most of the local debutantes can trace their lineage back 5 or 6 generations.

The name of each “Martha” is called out as the double French doors on the stage of the Laredo Civic Center are opened and the girl appears with her escort. Local families will save for these dresses from birth and are fully involved in the design of the "Martha" dress for their daughter.

Everyone waits to see the grandiose costumes of the young ladies, supported by a lattice of hoops, the hand stitched elaborate silk, satin and velvet gowns are coated with beading, sequins, lace and ribbons from all over the world.

Linda refuses to dignify requests for the prices of the gowns with an answer, but estimates have ranged from $12-30,000 and having looked at them close-up I would say she earns every penny.

This was my personal favourite, I just adore the colour and style of this stunning gown. I only own one dress, just not into them, but I'm not sure any woman could resist donning one of these beauties just once!

I wish my waist was tiny enough to wear it, this could be just the motivation I need to diet!

I think Pam and I could have floated around this display for another hour happily dreaming and admiring, even our Hubsters were impressed for awhile.

My pictures don't even come close to doing these gowns justice, so if you ever get the chance to see them anywhere, do not miss it.

So which one would you want to wear?

I might be late...

Want to know why? Then check out THIS

Does Betty Ford do mascara?

I have been going through an extremely frustrating period with mascara. In utter exasperation, I went and checked out my mascara stock and had a horrifying realization - I am a mascara junky!

I am a total sucker for any new mascara sales pitch. I had no less than six mascaras to choose from, not including the two I keep in the bathroom, one in the car and one in my desk at work! Mascara is one thing I never leave my house without. Sans mascara my eyes disappear, I look tired and all of my 43 years. It’s as essential as my bra, and I won’t answer the door without that!

I seem to have a two-coat mascara reproduction line, that’s the one with a white end and the other your color of choice. For awhile I thought this was the best mascara ever invented. It guaranteed thick, long, come hither lashes and it appears I stockpiled in fear of the long predicted doomsday scenario! The problem is, at some point I fell out of love with it.

I also have many color options available to me. Black/black, brown/black and black, which I defy anybody to tell the difference between when over a foot away! Then navy, blue, plum, purple and good old boring brown. With all these I still tend to use a coat of black to tone them down and not look like some scary, neon eye lashed pantomime dame! As for brown, I don’t even know why I buy it, I always think it’s too light and cover it in black!

It doesn’t help my addiction that there are so many choices. I Googled mascara and it came back with 12,400,000 hits, no wonder I can’t make my mind up! In the first four pages of hits I came up with twenty-five descriptive words!

Darken/lighten, although why use mascara at all if you want lighter lashes? Thicken and lengthen, surely a phrase more suited to Viagra? High definition, isn’t that some fancy smancy deal for the TV? Deeply pigmented, which I know is currently a ‘hip’ phrase in make-up and has something to do with color, but seriously is it even noticeable to the naked eye? Lightweight, dramatic, sexy, glossy, fatten, lush – all words I’d love to hear in a sentence about yours truly!

Curling mascaras are in another league; 30 degree curve, 50 degree curve, 70 degree, panoramic, and high impact. C’mon, unless I get a protractor out, there’s no way I could tell the difference! Don’t even get me started on L’Oreal’s Motion Mascara which has a vibrating brush. When I first saw an ad for this, I was struck dumb and then had a bloody good laugh.

But without doubt my absolute favorite descriptive phrase for mascara is - “infused with nurturing rose aroma”. The obvious and slightly kinky question being “would you like to sniff my lashes?”

On a happy note, I have finally found a mascara I love, I'm modelling it up top. 

But the tube just has L'Oreal on it, and the only way my 43yr old eyes could see this label was to take a macro picture and then crop it - sad sad! And from what I can just about tell, it seems to be L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Blackest Black. I'll write it down for when I go to buy more, so I don't have to embarress myself asking a young person to read the label. Oh to be a man at times!

Anyone else constantly trying new brands and types of mascara? Maybe we can double up at the addicts clinic!

I can pee upright!

....and no I'm not a freak of nature, or capable of amazing contortions. It's all thanks to what I personally consider one of the best inventions EVER for women - the pStyle.

Some of you may remember me mentioning it last year when another blogger raved about it. Well then Sassy had a giveaway and I was one of the lucky winners. Now I'm an old hand, in fact the Hubster laughs everytime I get it out and says "you're just proud of yourself aren't you?!". And to be honest "YES I AM"! First for being open-minded enough to give it a go and then because it has given me total freedom when out with no loo in sight. Plus it's totally discreet with no bodily parts revealed whilst in use.

To read my full article (with gory details!) on the pStyle, why I love it so much I'm about to order another, and why I think every woman needs one....go HERE today.

Then go HERE and spend the best $12 you'll ever spend for one of your own. Either open your minds ladies or just trust me, and you'll never feel the need to hover over a dirty public loo, or expose your butt to nature and passing traffic again. I never leave home without mine anymore!

Oh and for all of you that read it, we are expecting SNOW tomorrow ;-)

Have you or would you ever?

So I had posted this on my Facebook profile and my friend Expatmum was very tickled. She suggested I should post it just for your comments, which she anticipates will be highly entertaining, so don't disappoint please!

As we both said, this would definitely be us if we tried it. I have never been known for my grace, infact the word 'clumsy' has often been heard in my company. So I am not about to try it in this lifetime, there's just no incentive great enough (Hubster take note!).

But have you ever tried a pole dance, even jokingly? I am intrigued to know, especially as my bestfriend whom I thought I knew very well, took pole dancing lessons awhile ago.

At the time there was a bit of a fad going on to sell it as a way to keep fit...and that was all the excuse my BFF needed! However she didn't go long, as she said nearly every lesson was spent convulsed in giggles. Also being a natural 'pear' she struggled to get her butt up the pole, despite being fit. But I appreciated her effort, especially as I got a good laugh listening to her tales.

So thoughts, or confessions please!

Girls you have to read this!!

A complete female REVELATION I had no idea even existed!! Personally I will be ordering one tomorrow, so I'm never caught short again outdoors, or hovering with quivering thighs !

Finally! Tanning Beds declared carcinogenic by WHO

Sunbeds as lethal as cigarettes & arsenic: Experts class tanning with smoking and asbestos as top cancer risks.

This was the headline on a British newspaper & MSN.com yesterday and I thought this was news worth sharing, so below is the article reproduced from the Daily Mail:

Sunbeds are as great a cancer threat as cigarettes, global health chiefs have declared.

The dangers of ‘binge tanning’ are so significant that sunbeds have been placed on the World Health Organisation’s list of the most cancer-causing substances and habits, alongside arsenic and asbestos.

Before this, sunbeds and sunlamps had been classified as ‘probably carcinogenic’, placing them one rung below the most dangerous products.

High risk: Ultra-violet radiation could trigger cancer according to scientists. After reviewing the latest evidence, WHO scientists decided there was no doubt that ultra-violet radiation could trigger the disease.

This means that sunbathing is also classified as high risk. But the intensity of the UV light emitted by sunbeds means a 20-minute visit to some booths is the equivalent to spending an entire day on the beach.

The data will be made available to the Government, including the Department of Health which is facing increasing pressure to clamp down on sunbed use. Critics say the Government has so far failed to take any meaningful action to regulate the hundreds of tanning salons around the country.

An estimated three million Britons regularly use sunbeds, with children as young as 11 using the equipment to achieve tans like those of celebrity idols. Government guidelines advise against use by youngsters but many sunbeds are in unstaffed, coin-operated booths, meaning there is no screening of customers.

Sunbeds are also increasingly powerful, with the UV output from modern machines 10 to 15 times more intense than the midday sun on a Mediterranean beach.

Announcing the reclassification in the Lancet Oncology medical journal, the experts warned that the use of sunbeds and lamps was widespread in many developed countries, especially among young women. The alert comes amid concern about soaring rates of the most deadly form of skin cancer.

Sunbed use is partly blamed for the number of cases of malignant melanoma more than doubling in just 20 years. Some 9,417 men and women in England developed the disease between 1985 and 1987. But by 2004-2006, the figure had risen to 24,356.

Research analysed by the WHO included a large-scale review which concluded that using sunbeds before the age of 30 raises the odds of skin cancer by 75 per cent. Some of the studies also flagged up a convincing link between sunbeds and eye cancer.

Dr Beatrice Secretan, of the WHO'S International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), described the reclassification as ‘significant’. She said: ‘It means sunbeds are now up there with such things as cigarettes and alcohol as the most dangerous products to use when it comes to developing cancer. ‘What we do now is send this advice to the various regulatory bodies around the world. We hope our message will get across to the owners of these machines as well as the users.

To read the rest of this article go HERE or on MSN HERE.

Now I'm no angel here, I have used sunbeds in the past but not for years now, and for the past few years I have become very anti-tan. In fact I rarely leave home without Factor 85 on year round and am now 'Proud to be Pale'. I also last year started seeing a dermatologist every other year, just to get a once over of my own fair freckled skin. This is something I feel strongly enough about, that I won't beat about the bush and will get on my soap-box about it if needed with others.

My reasons for staying determinedly pale are based partly on skin cancer risk, especially now I live in a higher risk area, where there are many more cases. But also not wanting to age quickly and wrinkle badly, which has been made very apparent by some of the women I come across who live here and never use/d sun protection. Let's just say you can really see them coming, or predict who will be in their gang within a few years, and I am not looking to join them! I know very few people here who use sunscreen in daily life, even in mid-summer.

I regularly see people burned to a crisp here and they are often completely flippant about it or laugh it off, which I find not only scary but idiotic! I wonder if they'd swallow a teaspoon of arsenic if I offered it to them and think it cool or funny?

So if I do tan, which is very rare, it's always fake. Hopefully this news will now inspire others to do the same and think of their health first. Pale & smooth is much more beautiful.

If posting this today stops even one reader using tanning beds again, then it was my most worthwhile post this year.

A vibrating what??!!

Mascara technology has come on in leaps and bounds the last few years. You can now lengthen, curl, plump, seperate, colour etc... dependant on which one you pick-up in the store. But this latest one takes the biscuit though - Vibrating Mascara!!

When I saw the advert in a glossy magazine last night, I burst out laughing and the Hubster just said "blog fodder"! Whatever next?

But actually this one makes sense, as professionals say advise you to get right into the base of the lashes and then wiggle the brush up the lashes. So to have a vibrating brush could mean smoother application and no more wiggling. And 7000 vibrations a minute no less!

Maybe it did make me laugh but seeing as it makes sense, I'll be picking one up when I see it! Go HERE to watch the promo video.

A very special friend

Sometimes in life we are blessed with someone special entering our lives, we find an immediate bond with them and a great friendship is born. I have been blessed like this a handful of times in my life, I have many really good friends, but only a few that fit this description.

One of the hazards of moving continents is you leave friends behind and however hard you try, it's impossible to keep up the same level of contact. Such was the case when I left my bestfriend behind in England, we had been so close for 27 years and I knew she'd be impossible to replace.

But then another friend here introduced me to Judy, and suddenly I found a female friend who filled the big hole left by Gill. Of course you cannot replace a friend who's known everything about your life for 30 years, those memories are long! But it's fun starting over with someone else, who you just know will still be a very close friend 30 years from now.

Judy is the only female friend here I can say anything to and not shock, she just raises an eyebrow at me and gives me her 'look' if the 'F' word accidentally slips out, where as others visibly disapprove/recoil. We can share a look and know what the other is thinking, an invaluable asset at times. We have the same sense of humour, can talk for hours about girly stuff, both adore make-up, jewelry, shoes, clothes, magazines and have very similar taste. We also share the same longing to be skinnier and fitter, have similar thyroid issues, and we can shop contentedly together.

Now unless you're a woman you might not understand that last one, or how crucial being able to shop together is to a friendship. There are some women in my life I love, but no way can I shop with them, we just shop too differently. I know what I like and suits me, so I can't spend hours just browsing and I really can't stand indecision. Judy is the same and so shopping together is a pleasure, plus we give each other total honesty with no fear of upsetting feelings.

We happen to work together; Judy is a wonderful 1st grade teacher and so we can watch out for each other even when having a stressful day. She is someone I can share every emotion with, a rare thing for me as I hide my emotions alot, but she's had me arrive on her doorstep in tears and just been there to listen. It also just happens that our Hubsters have developed a great friendship and so we do alot as couples, including our Wii nights!

And as all close friends should, we have a secret or two and we also have a funny story, ours involves a big red bow!

Today Judy is celebrating a milestone birthday and because I'm a good friend I'm not sharing which one. But I wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday, let her know how thankful I am to have her in my life and how highly I value her friendship. And to thank her for being so willing to take on this unknown and sometimes misunderstood 'alien'!

"Happy Birthday Judy"

The ultimate instrument of torture??

Well Spring is here and so in the interests of probably having to reveal my pasty legs to the world shortly, I got out the dreaded Depilator on Monday night!

In the winter months I let my razor do a pretty good job, but come the hot weather a smoother finish looks better. So out comes what may well be the ultimate instrument of female torture.

If you've never used a Depilator let me explain it's workings. Those little gold blades revolve at speed and act as tiny tweezers, opening and closing as they turn. They literally yank the hair out by the root and yes, it's every bit as painful as it sounds!

In fact around the ankles and for the first few swipes, it's shiver down the spine and eye-wateringly painful! Then your legs seem to go numb, or your brain just decides to block the pain stimuli to stop you from fainting out cold.

But there's just no denying that for the ultimate smooth legs, then a Depilator is the way to go. Waxing is almost as painful, although over quicker, but it's just not quite as effective for me. So now I have another month to build up the courage to break out the Depilator again, the things us girls do for beauty!

And before anyone asks, no I have never had the guts to try it anywhere else but on my legs, just the thought makes me cringe. In fact the scorned wifes ultimate revenge, might just be an attack on male chest hair or the crown jewels, with one of these!

So what's your favoured form of hair epilation?

"Okay Toni, what's your secret?"

Now THIS is a gesture on a grand scale, and no I wasn't the happy recipient, one of my colleagues got this lovely surprise. Toni, is our Title 1 teacher and this week she celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary with husband, Kenton.

Kenton sent her one red Rose for every year of marriage, I don't think any of us have ever seen this many red roses in a bouquet! Toni has had a very tough few months and just last week she lost her Dad sadly, so it was really lovely to see her all lit up and excited about her husband's gift.

When she showed one of our male colleagues today his face was an absolute picture, and I said to him "now that sets a precedent for the rest of you", "no kidding" he replied!

Feel free to show these pictures to your menfolk ladies!

Botox Bandit!

Well I guess this can be considered a sign of the times! One of the stories on our Okieland News last night, was the police hunt for the so called 'Botox Bandit'.

This woman has been going into clinics that offer Botox treatment, getting it done and then doing a runner before paying! She has asked to use the restroom and then skipped out the back door, whilst remaining wrinkle free! And there are some people out there worrying about keeping their homes, talk about about getting your priorites skewed!

But this made me wonder, how many of my readers have had Botox or would be tempted to do so?

Ordinarily I don't consider it a bad thing to do, it's just not for me personally. Partly because I am blessed with good genes and youthful skin, but mainly because my pain threshold is zilch! I was however looking sideways in the mirror last night and seriously considering never removing my bra again, as the girls have definitely headed south for eternity!

So own up if you have, or would be tempted to get a bit of nip/tuck, injectable or insertable!

The Lips have it!

So I have a tendency to hoard things, including make-up! Granted it's all organised into little plastic units, by what it is and colour, but I am REALLY BAD at throwing make-up away. However a couple of months ago I did clear out some lipsticks, but these are the ones I kept!!

I had fun trying them all on, some of them were years old, but these ones are still viable. Now I'm certain to a guy alot of these look almost the same, but you see they're just not. The shade may be similar, but the texture can be totally different. I also happen to like shiny or sparkly lippies and so I need 'variations' on the same shade. I would liken this to a man having 10 wrenches/spanners that are all in different sizes!

They can be deceptive; see the one 2nd row, 2nd along that looks peachy/gold. Well actually it's a sheer 'Very Sexy' from Victoria's Secret, the glitter in it does all the work and there's minimal colour.

Oh and the ones that are pictured, well they're just the ones I could find quickly. You see I have at least 4 in my desk at work, any number spread across various handbags and at least 15 lipglosses that just weren't as photogenic! You will however note the absence of a true red, the Hubster thinks red makes me look tarty, so like a good wife I ditched the reds!

As you can probably tell, I am more of a 'pretty in pink' girl, with a leaning towards mauves. This is my current favourite, not too brash, pretty with a little bit of sparkle going on.

So who else out there hates to throw out make-up and could stock their local Walgreens, c'mon own up ladies?!

These need a Government Warning too!

I'm sorry but the picture above just makes me want to laugh, or cry. Because unless you have the will-power of Posh Spice, then at some point having these so called friends in your cupboard, will be your undoing if you're on a diet!

I speak from experience here. I no longer waste money on these 100 calorie packs, because the problem is...one is rarely enough if a craving hits you. Suddenly your supposedly 100 calorie microscopic serving, has turned into a 700 calorie nightmare, as you scoff the lot in a kind of chocolate fueled madness. Been there done that and so now these packs are banned from my cupboards.

And at the end of the day, they are still empty, unsatisfying (well physically at least), sugar loaded, addictive calories. So can I suggest the following message is printed on the side of all these candy packs, purporting to be just 100 innocent calories....IF you can control yourself that is?

'Chocolate can be dangerously addictive in the wrong hands, or at the wrong time of the month, in ANY quantity!'

Brit' Word of the Day!

Well it's been awhile, but at work yesterday I said something that caused some puzzled looks, although I know some of you will definitely know these. So we have a BWOTD and phrase:

"Why are you all tarted up today then?"

'Tarted up' = dolled up

derived from:

'Tart' = a Floozy

Neither of these expressions are terribly derogatory in England, they certainly can be, but if it's said between friends it's more of a jokey thing. "You old tart" was very much an affectionate teasing term between my girlfriends!

And just for a giggle, here's a piccie of me and my girlfriends back home, providing a perfect example of 'tarted up' on a Christmas night out a few years ago!

Some things we just don't need to know!

I have always been a John Cleese fan, he is one funny man, but I cringe when I get to know this much information about his love-life with Barbie Orr!

Miss Orr said Cleese was in good shape 'for an old guy', explaining: 'You know, they're normally saggy down there , but he really has a nice package (something tells us she's been down this road before, cause that's not something I would know!). He takes a lot of vitamin supplements and eats really well and he works out. His arms are really muscular and he still has amazing legs. He's had his teeth all redone and he recently got hair plugs (transplants from other parts of the body) to cover the bald patches at the front. He's getting back on the market again so he's got to get himself in shape.'

No actually he doesn't Barbie! I am pretty certain he's had all this done to keep up with his lover who just happens to be 42 years younger than him!! Yep - 42 years, he could be her grandad!! Somehow John I have a feeling if you were with someone born within a decade or so of you, she would love you whatever you looked like, and she'd be aging at the same rate.

Now John, here's a perfect example of a 60 year old lady aging gracefully and I doubt she'd discuss your 'bits' quite so publicly! But then again maybe I need to cut you some slack, after all you're not alone right now in enjoying a humungus age gap.

Bring on Ronnie Wood and his 20 year old Russian girlfriend, that's a 41 year age gap! Can I suggest now we all send a silent prayer up, that she's never tempted to kiss and tell, cause that could make John sound like Brad Pitt!

I really have nothing against relationships with an age gap. Demi and Ashton are 16 years apart and seem genuinely happy and in love. The Hubster and I are 10 years apart and suit each other very well, but these are excessive age gaps! I just sincerely wish they'd keep all the personal details to themselves!

I appear to be breeding!

Cysts that is ;-) and no this one above is NOT mine!

I had 6 total, "look, count them" the Dr said! All very small and no need to aspirate, but 5 in a row where I had the lump last month! And all in that pesky left boob.

They digital mammo'd me (no discomfort), then ultrasound (always fascinating as cysts look like black holes!), then 2 final spot mammo's that were tender as right over the cysts. I was sent away with a follow-up in April that I can cancel if they don't swell or get tender.

But she said I am going to need a yearly check-up and to expect something to show everytime. Apparently a I have cystic tissue that is especially dense - which she advised me is great! Well I guess it is when you consider the alternatives. I certainly never seem to do anything by halves!

So all done and dusted, got in a nice bit of shopping, beautiful weather and a lovely chat to PamOKC.

It's 'the girls' big day out today!

And I mean 'OUT'...yep 'the girls' and I are off to the big city lights for our annual squish, pummel and flat-iron today. And seeing as I took a 'brutal' honesty pill this week, I thought what the heck I've covered facial hair, lets go for the boobies now!

So let's get serious for a moment, because it's not a joking matter and if I can convince just one of you to go get checked for the first time, then this has been worthwhile.

I am 42 and I had my first mammogam last year at 41, just to give me a baseline you understand, the plan was then to get one 3-5 years later. Well hey guess what, they found a shadow, so I was referred to the wonderful specialist clinic Breast Imaging of Oklahoma. It's staffed by all female technicians, aesthetically relaxing to women in decor, and tries to get everything done there and then. Well after a digital mammo' and an ultra-sound, turned out I had a cyst, which they quickly aspirated and I was good to go. But they requested I come back a year later for my next mammogram, as I have the kind of dense boobs prone to cysts and hard to self-examine.

My point though is I had no clue I had an issue before the mammogram, I also didn't know I had the kind of dense tissue that needs watching a little more regularly. All this just by going to get a baseline mammo' in my early forties.

And here is my next point; in the UK women aren't even offered a mammogram on the NHS under the age of 50, unless they are in a high-risk group. That's just considered 'old' for getting a baseline here, most Dr's will recommend it around 45, but some anytime after you hit 40. The thinking behind this is to get a baseline for future comparison, before menopause and all the changes it brings starts. Makes good sense to me!

But turns out 'the girls' have had a bit of a year, well the left one anyway! First of all I had mastitis in May and no you didn't miss me dropping a baby Brit' Gal, typically I was that 'rare' non-breastfeeding case! Then 3 weeks ago I woke up and found a very tender sizeable lump, that had literally popped up overnight?! I was a little concerned and very touchy as in "touch my boob and you're dead meat hubster", but also realised Breast Cancer doesn't generally appear overnight. After a week of anti-biotics and then a lovely steroid shot in the bootie, it finally went away and has not returned, probably just infection according to my Dr. But the Dr wanted me to get not just my annual mammo' but also a specialist consultation, on why my 'left boob' is determined to hog the limelight this year?!

So that's where I am off to today, pretty relaxed about it all and glad to be going to such a fantastic clinic, where I know I will get the best possible attention and care. Sure mammograms are not comfortable and this comes to you from a Gal who has alot to flatten! But I am now a total advocate of going in your 40's and getting that baseline done. If I was in the UK I would have paid to go privately by age 45, but I bet that cyst would have been an issue before then. I imagine most of us can say we know someone personally affected by Breast Cancer and these days it's got a high remission rate, so early detection is even more essential.

So if you're worried it'll hurt, go immediately after your period (less painful) and grit your teeth for the minute it takes to do each. No family history, well history has to start with someone! If you're in the UK don't wait for the NHS to decide it's your time, get that baseline in your 40's. And if you just can't be bothered, well look at your loved ones faces and do it for them.

And for all you men, just be grateful for that prostate exam, it could be so much worse! ;-)

I'm breaking a taboo!

I'm coming out of the closet in order to discuss what I often think is a taboo subject amongst women. So let me be quite frank...

"I have facial hair, the kind that needs dealing with - regularly!"

I remember having a conversation around a table in a pub a few years back with my girlfriends. We were all in our mid' to late thirties and up until that night, I didn't think there was much we hadn't shared with each other. Then somebody mentioned the sudden onset of their moustache and after a moments total silence, then nervous laughter, well the floodgates opened! The rest of that night was spent discussing where the hell all the hair had suddenly come from, could we end up as bearded ladies in a freak show, and why nobody had ever warned us in advance?!

These days I don't bother to beat around the bush with my female friends, if I'm having a facial hair issue I'll just open up about it. Usually after a moments stunned silence, invariably followed by some laughter, we get down to discussing the nitty gritty.

So for those of you who are female and under 35 reading this, let me warn you now....it's more than likely rapidly growing facial hair may be part of your future. Mine started at the ripe old age of about 34, with one particularly determined witches hair that refused to go away.

A witches hair is one of those coarse, often curly and ten times faster growing hairs, that just keeps coming back like The Terminator, however many times you pluck the sucker! They're usually not hard to either spot or feel, as they are (a) often darker than all your other hair, and (b) if you smoooth a finger across one the coarseness is a dead giveaway. Well after about 10 months of plucking on my part and stealth on it's part, I dragged it off to be nuked...aka electrolysis. Five sessions later, alot less wealthy and still avec hair, I gave up the fight and determined to just keep on plucking!

Skip forward about three years and I seemed to be growing a moustache on a monthly basis?! Quelle horreur...sure I'd always had a baby 'tache under my nose, but it had never offended me by growing, or sneaking in baby witches' hairs! So off I went to the beauty salon to have it waxed off regularly, with the assurance that over time regular waxing will cause it to grow back more sparsely. Trust me, there's about as much truth in that, as Posh Spice saying she hasn't had a boob job! Plus there isn't much more painful than having the hair under your nose ripped from it's roots. It'll make your eyes water like onions do, and send you back onto the street with a flattering red welt above your upper lip for thirty minutes!

So waxing went the way of electrolysis and I moved on to Nair, a facial hair removing cream, translation...it burns it off painlessly. Well it does if you don't accidentallly leave it for longer than the required time! Nair is strong stuff, I heard a story just a day ago about a man who thought he'd try it on his beard (DUH!!) and ended up with blisters! The problem is though, if you take it off within the allotted time, it will often leave a few determined hairs. Anyway I ploughed on with the Nair and tweezers semi-successfully until I hit 42, when all out war finally broke out. By this time I was 'nairing' my beard, not just my 'tache every month!

I kid you not, in the last six months I seem to have gained the power to grow certain individual facial hairs overnight. I am now at the point where I do a daily hair check every morning and every now and then, I will find an inch long straggler that definitely was not there the day before?!

Plus I seem to have kicked the growth rate up a couple of notches and applying Nair twice a week is just not an option. I'm now the unwilling host to a fine layer, of what can only be described as white blonde ducks down on my outer cheeks! I have two friends in their fifties who have quietly admitted they now have to shave, both beautiful ladies and you'd never know.....but is this what I have to look forward too?!

So now I tweeze and I trim lightly, keeping it all at a length where it goes unnoticed, but that does not cause it to grow more coarsely, which is a fine line. I regularly thank god the hair on my face is so blonde (apart from the rogue witches hairs). But then this precludes me from Laser Hair removal, which would have undoubtedly been my next course of action, it only works well on dark hair though!

So I am out of the closet for the sake of my readers. The younger ones need to know what's ahead, so ladies please warn your daughters and grand-daughters. Those of you who are fighting the same battle, you're not alone and feel free to share your experiences or tips. And to the men in our lives, don't take the 'p' when you accidentally catch your loved one with what looks like a white beard of Nair, or you spot a witches hair. Be loving, supportive and remember she could be making comments about baldness, ear hair, back hair or wild eyebrows!

Oh and I did finally terminate The Terminator after about five years of fearless plucking!

The *NEW* me!

I'm not pink or green, so I am happy, it's a nice change.

This is a little lighter than my natural colour and it's bound to fade with time and sunlight. As usual my hair grabbed the almost non-existent red in the colour and it's quite golden. No cut, just my naturally curly hair gone a little wilder, probably due to the colour!