"I have facial hair, the kind that needs dealing with - regularly!"I remember having a conversation around a table in a pub a few years back with my girlfriends. We were all in our mid' to late thirties and up until that night, I didn't think there was much we hadn't shared with each other. Then somebody mentioned the sudden onset of their moustache and after a moments total silence, then nervous laughter, well the floodgates opened! The rest of that night was spent discussing where the hell all the hair had suddenly come from, could we end up as bearded ladies in a freak show, and why nobody had ever warned us in advance?!These days I don't bother to beat around the bush with my female friends, if I'm having a facial hair issue I'll just open up about it. Usually after a moments stunned silence, invariably followed by some laughter, we get down to discussing the nitty gritty.So for those of you who are female and under 35 reading this, let me warn you now....it's more than likely rapidly growing facial hair may be part of your future. Mine started at the ripe old age of about 34, with one particularly determined witches hair that refused to go away.A witches hair is one of those coarse, often curly and ten times faster growing hairs, that just keeps coming back like The Terminator, however many times you pluck the sucker! They're usually not hard to either spot or feel, as they are (a) often darker than all your other hair, and (b) if you smoooth a finger across one the coarseness is a dead giveaway. Well after about 10 months of plucking on my part and stealth on it's part, I dragged it off to be nuked...aka electrolysis. Five sessions later, alot less wealthy and still avec hair, I gave up the fight and determined to just keep on plucking!Skip forward about three years and I seemed to be growing a moustache on a monthly basis?! Quelle horreur...sure I'd always had a baby 'tache under my nose, but it had never offended me by growing, or sneaking in baby witches' hairs! So off I went to the beauty salon to have it waxed off regularly, with the assurance that over time regular waxing will cause it to grow back more sparsely. Trust me, there's about as much truth in that, as Posh Spice saying she hasn't had a boob job! Plus there isn't much more painful than having the hair under your nose ripped from it's roots. It'll make your eyes water like onions do, and send you back onto the street with a flattering red welt above your upper lip for thirty minutes!So waxing went the way of electrolysis and I moved on to Nair, a facial hair removing cream, translation...it burns it off painlessly. Well it does if you don't accidentallly leave it for longer than the required time! Nair is strong stuff, I heard a story just a day ago about a man who thought he'd try it on his beard (DUH!!) and ended up with blisters! The problem is though, if you take it off within the allotted time, it will often leave a few determined hairs. Anyway I ploughed on with the Nair and tweezers semi-successfully until I hit 42, when all out war finally broke out. By this time I was 'nairing' my beard, not just my 'tache every month!I kid you not, in the last six months I seem to have gained the power to grow certain individual facial hairs overnight. I am now at the point where I do a daily hair check every morning and every now and then, I will find an inch long straggler that definitely was not there the day before?!Plus I seem to have kicked the growth rate up a couple of notches and applying Nair twice a week is just not an option. I'm now the unwilling host to a fine layer, of what can only be described as white blonde ducks down on my outer cheeks! I have two friends in their fifties who have quietly admitted they now have to shave, both beautiful ladies and you'd never know.....but is this what I have to look forward too?!So now I tweeze and I trim lightly, keeping it all at a length where it goes unnoticed, but that does not cause it to grow more coarsely, which is a fine line. I regularly thank god the hair on my face is so blonde (apart from the rogue witches hairs). But then this precludes me from Laser Hair removal, which would have undoubtedly been my next course of action, it only works well on dark hair though!So I am out of the closet for the sake of my readers. The younger ones need to know what's ahead, so ladies please warn your daughters and grand-daughters. Those of you who are fighting the same battle, you're not alone and feel free to share your experiences or tips. And to the men in our lives, don't take the 'p' when you accidentally catch your loved one with what looks like a white beard of Nair, or you spot a witches hair. Be loving, supportive and remember she could be making comments about baldness, ear hair, back hair or wild eyebrows!Oh and I did finally terminate The Terminator after about five years of fearless plucking!
I'm breaking a taboo!
I'm coming out of the closet in order to discuss what I often think is a taboo subject amongst women. So let me be quite frank...