Not such a bright spark!

That would be a reference to myself! I thought I'd share with you one of my extremely blonde moments from last winter.

I am a big fan of candles and have them all over the house. On cold winter nights I love to light my candles and enjoy their scent and glow.

On just such a night I thought I would introduce a little romance into our bedroom by lighting the candles in there, before the hubster headed into bed. The hubster was relaxing in the sitting room watching TV, as I set off with my candle lighter into our bedroom.

The lights were off, but I was confident I knew where the lavendar candle was on the hubsters bedside table. So in I headed flicking on the lighter as I headed for the candle and then lowering it into the candle to light it.

Huge mistake - I had unwittingly forgotten I had removed the candle and replaced it with one of those squat square boxes of kleenex. So imagine my SHOCK, closely followed by HORROR as the kleenex sticking out of the box catches light and immediately starts to burn.

What was my immediate reaction - well just what any blonde would do....I BLEW ON IT OF COURSE!!

WHOOSH the flames leapt and then disappeared down into the body of the kleenex box as I screamed "FIRE" at the top of my voice.

I did the only thing I knew to do....I grabbed the box, which was only alight inside and ran for the front door (directly outside our room), yet again YELLING - "FIRE"!!

I yanked the door open and threw the fully alight box out onto the front lawn, as the hubster came loping casually out of the sitting room, asking "where's the fire"?

I won't repeat the various expletives I tossed in his direction as I pointed to the flames on our front lawn and asked where the hell he'd been as I yelled fire repeatedly??!! "I thought you mean't outside, like the neighbours or something, not our bloody house - WHAT DID YOU DO??!"

Of course then I had to explain how I'd been wandering around the bedroom waving a live flame in the general direction of our possessions.

As I said - not my greatest moment ever!


Brad said...

ROFL! What a great story!

After that experience, you'll appreciate this... have you ever had one of your cats get close enough to a burning candle to set its own tail on fire? It's quite humorous followed by terrifying to see your cat's tail with a small little flame on it resembling the candle flame that set it ablaze! And there's nothing like the smell of burning fur.

Fortunately, the cat didn't seem worse for the wear after we quickly extinguished the feline fur candle!

Mare said...

That was the funniest story that I have heard in a while. You made it so easy to visualize and I am still laughing!!Thanks for sharing the laughter.

Daryl said...


If this happened to me, it would be a Toon for sure ... men, bless them have such an odd sense of hearing .. even when they are listening they hear or assume something WRONG

I once cut my foot very badly (too long an explanation for a comment box) and I was bleeding .. dripping blood and I am calling out HONEY HELP ...



I hobbled into the living room with a foot dripping blood and he looks up and says: Did you call me?


Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Brad! LOL that's something I am going to have to watch for with pesky Bonnie into everything and with no apparent fear either!

Daryl - sounds all too familiar LOL

willow said...

You are too cute!! Thanks for the giggles!

Tamara Jansen said...

Very funny! Mental note to self: always turn lights off AFTER flame is lit :)

Kay said...

This is just hilarious! Ummm... I'm just going to have to share this with my firefighter son. :-)

pamokc said...

OMG! That is hysterical! If it wasn't so scary!!! Candles scare me just for this reason! I can just totally picture this happening. Fire! Fire!

Rob said...

Oh boy, this is funny.

Reminds me of the time many years ago that Mother dearest decided to wash some marks on the couch left there by a comfort seeking dog before Father Director returned from work. She got a bit carried away and before long the thing was soaking. Must remedy that before Father Director's return. No problem, just use a hair dryer, yes?

It was taking longer than expected so MD left the hair dryer to do it's thing unsupervised while she went to make dinner. (Today called multi-tasking)

The first I knew of it was while doing homework (of course I was) I heard the screams of FIRE!!! We lived in a Thatched roof house in dry African veld so this was a call to action. Imagine my surprise to find MD jumping up and down in panic and the couch being consumed by 5 foot high flames!

Before I knew what I was doing I had flung open the French doors to the patio and was pushing the fireball out of the house with such vigour that it almost felt weightless and went careening across the patio in the direction of the swimming pool.

MD and I had a hard time explaining to FD how between us we were responsible for the charred remains of the late couch sitting at the bottom of the pool.

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

OMG Rob' - also hysterical, isn't it amazing how the sight of fire in your home makes you react instantaneously!

Kay - you wouldn't!

Sherri said...

That is a great story Sarah!! Thanks for sharing-you made my day!!

Janet said...

I once set myself on fire, accidentally of course. I would have been about 16, I leaned over the lit gas cooker to reach something from the kitchen counter, and whoosh. I rushed into the back yard, and ripped my blouse off, amazingly I escaped unharmed.

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Wow Jan' - sounds like you got extremely lucky and that's just the sort of thing I would also do!

Wep said...

OMG I am hugely afraid of fire. Just lit my first candle 3 years ago. Husband loves candles and we have had to have many conversations about making sure they are blown out before bed.