So the other day I had to get hold of a parent after her child puked. I tried calling her to no avail and the child informed me she was now working nights.
So I reverted to the next contact his aunt, also a parent at the school, this was our conversation (names changed for privacy).
Me: "Hi Jo, I have been trying to get hold of Ann because John has been sick and we need him picked up. As you're the next contact and I can't get her, I am calling you"
Jo: "Ok no problem"
Me: "Would you mind coming for him, or do you think you could send someone around to knock Ann up"
Dead silence for about 5 seconds, whilst we both absorbed what I'd said.
Me: "Oh my gosh Jo that's not what I mean't, that has a whole different meaning in England!"
Jo: Trying to speak through laughter "omg don't worry I knew you didn't mean that"
Me: "I am so sorry" also laughing
Jo: "Oh no you just made my day, I'll send Jim to get him"
Me: Bright red with mortification!!